Like I said yesterday, the Jedi has been in our home for almost 6 months now. Back in the middle of April, things kinda got a little interesting for a while with his case. There was a PC (permanency conference) in the middle of April, and it was during that conference that I thought I was going to pass out. Bio mom brought up the fact that bio dad’s mom (Jedi’s grandma) from California could just take the Jedi. It was all kind of confusing and shocking and so I wasn’t even sure what to do or say. But it felt like my whole world was crashing. The lady in charge of the conference was talking about having to do a home study on her, and get all the information, and blah blah blah… and I just kept thinking, “WHY don’t I have a say in all of this? He has been on OUR home for 5 months, we have been the ones raising him, WE have been the ones loving him!”

The thought of losing him was a possibility now. It felt real. I went through so many emotions, especially for that first week after the PC. I literally cried every single day for a week. But I kept clinging on to God’s promises and standing on His Word.

I woke up one morning and I was crying out to God in the bathroom. I said, “Please, Lord. Don’t let my suffering go to waste! Don’t allow this child to be taken from us!” And He whispered back, “This child is not yours. He is Mine. Let me fight this battle.”

I’m telling you, the only thing that got me through the three weeks that followed the PC before I had contact with our caseworker was PRAYER. I woke up every morning and had to put on my armor and pick up my cross. I had to lean on Jesus EVERY SINGLE MOMENT so that I wouldn’t lose it completely.

Finally the beginning of May came and we were scheduled to meet with the caseworker on May 1st. My stomach was in knots because I was so afraid of what she would say. I kept circling the entire situation in prayer–praying for the judge of the case, praying for favor in the court, praying for favor in the SYSTEM (which I think is completely flawed, but that’s a story for later). Ultimately, I just really wanted my mind to be put at ease about the Jedi’s case so that I felt a little better about the likelihood of termination and us adopting him.

And so the time came for our meeting.

God works in very curious ways!

Our caseworker said, “Things are looking GREAT for the case! I really think rights will be terminated at the next court date!” I was ECSTATIC. I asked about the grandmother. Apparently she’s not in the picture anymore. I was ready to jump up and down shouting praises to God! And then came another bombshell…

“Also, I have something to tell you.” She said. I was nervous. What now?!

“The Jedi’s 9-year-old half brother, Hans Solo, needs a place to go. We would love for him to be with his brother because it would most likely help with his healing. He is having trouble in school and has some medical diagnosis’s, but his grandparents can’t deal with him anymore because they say they are too old. So think about it. Bair will be calling you to see if it’s something you are interested in doing.”

Nine. Year. Old. Never knew those three words could freak me out as bad as it did in that moment. Initially, as she said that to me, I said, “Oh no. We are not even licensed for that age. We are not comfortable taking in older kids. We have never raised our own and wouldn’t even know what to do with a nine year old.

But I guess God has different plans. I presented the idea to Ryan that evening, and we both started praying. And the more we prayed, the more we felt like God was moving us to take on this new challenge. It’s amazing to me how He will answer one prayer, but then present something totally new and challenging in the same moment!

Alright, enough for today! And for all of my prayer warriors, the Jedi’s case is still not over yet! Please pray for the judge every single day until his court date. God can move on his heart even today!!

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